Daaru...

Well its end of yet another year, 2017. So many things happened in this year which I am not going to mention here but what I would like to mention is the special last day of the year, December 31st.

Most of the people celebrate the last day of the year with partying hard, enjoying great food, live shows, dance, music and most importantly with drinks. Few won't even do anything but just be in the home and watch TV, sleep. Let's not talk about them, but about those who drink. Drinking alcohol has become such a default activity on December 31st. Everyone would like to drink daaru and that's the party on new year night. If you don't drink daaru on 31st night, then you didn't have any party.

I am very much against daaru. I don't like drinking daaru at all. As I have known, daaru is very addictive and based on my personality, if I get addicted to something, it's very hard to get off. So I never prefer to even try out daaru. Since my childhood, while growing up, I have known/seen people who ruined their life because of daaru. I have also seen people who are so much addicted to it and continue to ruin their health, family, life knowing its all because of daaru but still unable to control but keep drinking. I pity those people.

As I grow up, got settled and started observing that most of even successful people, well-settled people also drink daaru. It is very common to drink daaru in high parties and corporate outings. It was prestige to drink and give company in office outings and get-togethers. I even observed in TV series, movies etc that they keep drinking daaru as though its nothing. Sometimes, even I get tempted to give a try but never dared.

People keep asking me, forcing me, suggest me to try one shot of daaru, nothing will happen but I strongly avoid it. When I am down with cold, I hear a very common dialogue, have RUM, it will kick off your cold in 5mins. But still, I never give up and refuse. I can proudly say that till now I have never ever tasted a single drop of daaru :-) People keep asking me the question, why don't you drink daaru? For all those, you might get answer by reading this blog (I hope)

After analyzing all the facts and understandings, one thing I figured out is people drink daaru as part of happiness, celebration and it may not be wrong as long it is under control. One or two pegs of daaru to celebrate some big great achievement is no harm. So I decided that I will also try out daaru when I want to celebrate some great achievement in my life. There is no harm in that as many people who I consider idol also drink daaru.

So I started to plan, what would be my greatest achievement in life. Initially, I thought, once sister gets married, it's a big achievement and I will drink. But it has been a year since she got married and till now haven't even touched daaru. Probably, then I thought, once I get married, I'll drink. But still, I am not sure if I will be dared enough to give a try and I am not considering my marriage as any great achievement at this point in time so as to celebrate it with a daaru :P

So finally, I have boiled down to the stage at which I will open up a bottle of champagne and drink on my own. The key word "on my own" is very important here because, before that, someone might force me to try a drink or perform some emotional blackmail to give a try and I might sip the daaru little bit (its not that easy as I will try to control myself 100% and avoid drinking but you never know). If such thing happens, then I won't be drinking on my pure will, it is like someone forcing.

According to me, my greatest achievement, which I consider sufficient enough to drink daaru and celebrate, would be when my kid (boy/girl, first/second doesn't matter) gets sufficient good education and starts earning on their own (be independent) --> "that moment" --> I have reserved for celebration with daaru with my own will (no one forcing me). I think its greatest moment and a big achievement of life for any parent (to see their child succeed and be independent).

So here it goes, until then, I am not going to touch daaru whatsoever. I know its lot of time for that moment to happen but who is in hurry to drink daaru, not me ;-) I see people drinking daaru for stupid reasons. He got a new bike, let's drink daaru. He found his missing key, let's drink daaru. His home is empty, let's drink daaru. I mean, really!!!!!!!! They just need a reason to drink daaru, that's all.

I am not saying or moral policing you to not drink but I am fed up with the question on why I don't drink. So I dedicated my last blog of this year 2017, which most of the people will be drinking daaru and celebrating on 31st night of 2017 to convey this answer. I know its kinda serious and not fun to tell when you are already drunk and asking me this question, "why don't you drink bro?" so better to write it on blog which I hope you will be reading without drinking daaru :-)

Folks, Happy New Year 2018.

Professional Looks

Soon to be updated...

To Be Updated

Yet to be updated. November 1, it will be updated before EOD.

Complicated

When I was a kid, I had a clear goal set in life that I must study well and score well for better future. I must avoid distractions, concentrate on studies in securing more marks. It was crystal clear and I followed it with all my strength and excelled in the education part of life but post-education life, there is another life, real life which awaits. That is too much complicated without any clear goals.

When I completed my engineering and started to work, even before I could complete one year in corporate professional life, this question started to hit me hard. Whats goal now ? I don’t have exams in company to get more marks, or study well. I just have to come to office, work, learn, meet friends/colleagues, rest for two days weekend, get salary after a month and cycle repeats. Initially, I had to spend most of the salary in closing all existing loans of my parents which use to give such a huge satisfaction but once that is done, I have no idea on how to spend the salary. I was bogged down with biggest question of my life, whats the new goal ?

I had an uncle, mother’s brother, who was an idol to me. He had answers to all my questions, he use to see the potential in me, use to ask puzzles to excite and train my brain. I asked him this question back then, whats the goal of life since now eduction is finished? He was silent. Even he couldn’t answer. I was astonished that finally I had a question for which he doesn’t have any answer. But still the question remained as a question only. No one could give me any answer to this.

Without parents to guide, life moved on, without any clear goals, just going with the flow. Several obstacles came in between, faced them, passed through them, learnt lessons and continued. But whats the goal of life ? Where is the life heading to? What am I suppose to do in my life? I was like that molted iron which will take the shape in whichever pattern its put into. Unknowing what I really want, just passing time as it appears.

When I use to see others (friends), they were clearing one after other milestones of life heading with some clear guidance in life towards some goal probably. But I seem to remain still. Friends bought new car, new flat, got married, having kids, helping society, following their passion like photography, music, traveling etc. While I feel, without clear goals, I’m stuck. I am still in 2011 where I asked this question out load and no one answered and I am still in search of answer.

When we were in school/college, life was quite simple. We use to have a clear goal and a detailed manual of student life. There use to be teachers who can help us navigate through life. But once education is finished, the life is too much complicated. Each one has their own goals and rules in life and start following it up. Several complex things like relationships, finance, society, religion becomes our subjects of life. Unlike engineering or medical or Law subjects, there are no books or clear things written on these topics.  These new life topics are crazy and too much complicated and depends upon each individual to deal with.

When you grow old, things start to clear up. There is nothing clear cut right or wrong, its all what you decide and choose to believe in. Life after eduction is grey. Few set of people believe in something and make it as their goal in life while others will be quite opposite of it but still lead their life as though that is correct. I hope, you get what I am talking about. It may be about relationships, religion, something satire in society, or political motive etc. It's all about your perception.

I have been tried to get moulded in many shapes but none I felt are comfortable. I don’t know which shape I am going to take but whatever shape I take, bottom line to ensure is, I must be happy. Happiness is what all matters at the end of the day. If you are unhappy, doesn’t matter how good you are as per society, religion, relationship, finance, how much you earn nothing matters, its all waste and not worth it. As long as you are happy, nothing matters.

Few lines in similar context borrowed from an answer from Quora to a question, "Whats the purpose of life?":- The only reality we know is the one we feel so the only purpose of life can be to “feel”. Feel happy, feel fulfilled. “feel” an unabashed desire to work towards what truly gives us a feeling of happiness and fulfillment. In a world where we are questioning our very existence, the only truth that matters is the one you choose to live.

Equation of Finance and Relationship

Mathematics is my favorite subject. It contains equation. As I grew up, I witnessed that there were several equations, even outside mathematics. The equation gives some sort of generalization of behavior between two distinct objects. In this blog, I would like to derive an equation between two objects which are finance and relationship.

I hope, everyone is aware of relationship term. It could be with your friend, cousin, colleague, neighbor, relatives, in-laws, brother, sister, parents etc. The word finance in this context is lending money, giving credit to others or anything where money is involved.

As we grow up and start earning, everyone will have to go through and deal with finances. You'll be getting money in your hand and of course it must be spent judicially. It needs to be secured for future too and there will be expenses in our day-to-day activities. All of it has to be neatly managed without wasting precious hard earned money. Few may not realize its importance when they first start earning but then later, based on mistakes, they learn the hard lesson.

Also, as we grow up and start earning on our own, our relationship with others changes. The way society looks at you differs compared to when you were studying (non-earning). In today's modern world, without being financially independent, one cannot be liberal and will be disrespected. If you want to be respected, be independent and take your own decisions by having your own opinions then you must be financially independent first, capable of earning on your own otherwise, its not at all possible. As long as someone is dependent on another for their financial needs, then its like living under burden.

Call me naive, but I have grown up watching family entertainer movies, where they try to express that relations are more valuable than money. These kind of films doesn't stress much upon how family is rich or poor, or always show rich peoples (Agarwal, Singhania, Chopra, etc) and relation between them. I believe thats how we are suppose to live in society. The society where money is out of equation between relationships.

But the harsh truth is, money is everywhere and is the base on which society is built. In all the relations, money gets in. How much ever, you try to stay away, but ultimately you will end up in dealing finances in the relationships. As I said, I believe in building relations where money is out of equation and try act like that, but few people seamlessly take advantage of it. Sometimes, I feel, do they even value the relationship at all. 

The equation which I want to draw over here is, the more close relationship it is, the more amount of money is involved. With your colleague, you might be dealing in finances of 100s to 1000s and with your neighbors probably in some 1000s to 5000s (if they are close). If you have a closed one, the money with which you trust him/her is almost equal to the trust you both share. If its your close friend, you might lend 5000 to 10000, but a relative which is not close to you then you might think twice to lend such an amount (also the other factor generally one considers is, will he repay back on time). Anyways, as and when the relation gets thicker, amount increases. With your parents, siblings, husband-wife, the amount will be dealt in lakhs (properties, cash, etc).

The point which I would like to make is, obviously, more the trust and close relationship, more the money gets involved. But most people tend to forget about the close relationship they share and concentrate on the huge money. Keep in mind, the more money got involved in the first place is because of your close relationship, which people often forget and spoil the relationship.

The equation is quite simple and I am not asking you to value only relationship or value only money but I suggest to always try to maintain proper balance between relationship and finance as you know the equation now. Its very crucial.

Perception Matters?

No one can deny that WhatsApp has become deeply integrated with our lifestyles. Most of us are in contact with our cousins, colleagues, friends etc through WhatsApp groups. These groups really help us in catching up on whats going on with one another in a jiffy. I too have several groups and one among them is our engineering college friend’s group.

As most of you might know, I enjoy writing (no matter how good or bad it is). I generally write a blog every month and try to at-least write minimum one Quora answer every week. Quite some time back, I attempted to write a Novel (part1 part2) but stopped abruptly. Now, I have been again taking interest to continue writing this Novel but unable to do so. Writing is a very hard and difficult process. The only one who goes through the phase knows it. That's why I really admire those who write well and consistently.

One fine day, in the WhatsApp group which I was mentioning earlier, one of my friend informed us that, he has written a Novel and published it on Amazon’s KDP (Kindle Direct Publishing). It is a self-publishing platform for new upcoming authors to put out their novels on Kindle platform. He said, it needs some 2 months for review by Amazon Kindle team (they might reject also if not up to standards or in appropriate content etc) and make it available for the public to download by paying some 99 bucks. We (means remaining friends in the group) were all really excited. After further discussion, we came to know that, if it sells well then he can even earn money (some % is shared with Amazon) and the ownership/copyright will still be held by Amazon.

My friend shared the first page of his book on WhatsApp group which was a synopsis. It was fantastic. The novel was about Indian Politics, where the protagonist trying to get a particular capable leader of a party to become Prime Minister of democratic India. It was all about the journey of this protagonist to witness his dream come true. His dream being this lady becoming PM and what all goes behind the scene in its happening. We were all really looking forward to the release of the book and to further read this promising story which our friend intended to tell.

As I told, even I was re-attempting to continue writing my novel and listening to my friend, new hopes opened up for me. I came to know about this self-publishing platform, a friend who already went through the process who can help/guide and provide tips in writing my novel and making it publish. I got new ambitions for writing the novel and new admiration for my writer friend.

Every day, I started to continue writing my half baked novel with the motivation that one of my friend (whom I know very well) did it. If he can do, I can also do it. I prepared the over all story line for my novel, sketched each character which I am going to introduce, their name, age, habits and what role do they play in the story. I prepared a chart in full enthusiasm.  Then I started to write. Sometimes I use to get blocked, couldn’t even write a single word. Based on what my friend wrote about Indian politics and complex storyline of multiple layered characters, I started to think, what a stupid story am I writing. Some silly romantic story which is cliched. There is nothing innovative in this. I am just clubbing all romantic stories I have watched in film/tv series and adding some of my own experience about day-to-day activities of IT industry and cooking up some silly story.

When I was in such blockage stage, I used to pinged him on WhatsApp and ask, did he also face similar blockage while writing his novel, how did he overcome it, etc. He used to give me some tips and it would re-motivate me and I would continue writing whatever crap I was writing. After some time, what I realized is, it doesn’t matter how bad I am writing but what matters is completing the novel which I started. I use to console myself, this is not the only novel I am going to write but this is just beginning. There is no rule that, the first novel to be the best novel. The aim is to complete the story which I am planning to tell. With these kinds of motivation which I got from my friend who wrote a novel, I continued writing my novel whenever I got some time.

Day by day passed and after a month of so, he shared the cover page of his Novel titled “Ten Lives of Attainment”. It was looking very promising. He said he purchased the cover photo so that he won't end up in copyright claim later. I was thinking, how serious is this guy about his novel while I am lazily typing some nonsense every day. When asked, he told, it took around a year to complete this novel and he has plan and story for next 2 novels which he will write only if this first one gets some appreciation and success. I was totally flat and had become a fan of this guy! Such a dedication! Wow !

Another friend in the group of this was counting down the days of the release of this book. He was asking questions like, how do we buy this book, which app to install on mobile to read the novel etc. Finally, the D-Day arrived. The date of release of his novel on Kindle store. There was no response from the author friend. A day or two passed by but no response. I was getting skeptical whether poor fellow’s book got rejected by Amazon's review team due to their high standards and may be that's why he is not replying back? We waited for his response.

Suddenly he responded back mentioning that, after 2 days of release, his book is a big hit and he earned quite a sum of money. After that, he even directly shared the PDF version of his book in WhatsApp group itself. It was unbelievable and we all were happy and eager to read his novel. I was planning to spend the weekend to read this novel in one go and learn how he has written and get some knowledge on writing styles etc.

When I opened the pdf file of his novel, it was only of 4 pages, with 3 pages for build up and on the last page, it was something like “April fool” and its a prank. There is no novel. It was all a lie all along. A perfect real life prank on WhatsApp group. I was totally shocked, unbelievable. My brain was not able to synthesize that it's a prank. I still was believing that there is a real novel written by him which I will read and him telling there is no novel might be a prank. That day, it was really hard for me to digest this news.

After realizing the reality of no novel about Indian politics by my dear friend, I was shattered and lost all motivation which I had gained in past two months for writing my novel. I was feeling so stupid whenever I use to sit for writing my novel. Till date, I couldn’t write a single word on my novel after getting played by prank BUT while in past two months I wrote some three and half chapters of my novel just because I was under some false perception. So what should I make out of it ? Does having a perception really matters ? Doesn’t matter even if its a false perception, but having that perception of a friend completed a novel helped me writing my own novel.

We all will be having such various kind of perceptions in our mind in day to day lives and will be acting under such perceptions. Sometimes having a perception and acting based on it is really good as long it helps you. That doesn’t mean all perceptions are right and do whatever you want. All I am saying is even if its false perception or wrong perception doesn’t matter as long as it helps you. If you try to uncover the perception, perhaps it might be incorrect and you might loose whatever was helping you. So better to be under some imaginative perception and act accordingly as long it is helping you.

Well in my case, I am unable to continue writing my blog after I discovered that my perception was totally wrong. But thats fine, now after writing this blog, I will get back the old perception that indeed my friend is a great author, he wrote an excellent novel. If he can do it, why can’t I ? Let me try continue writing my novel with this perception (which is obviously FALSE) and take its advantage as it certainly helps me in completing my novel. PROBABLY !!! :)

The Kitchen

Is there any house which doesn't have a kitchen ? I highly doubt it. Although, we won't talk much about this unique and essential room of every house but it is certainly an important and critical part of house. This is the place where the source of energy of people residing in house is generated. Kitchen is the place from which, all the raw materials are taken as input and provides an output of delicious eatable items. The entire process happens in this room, kitchen.

I often compare the Kitchen room to an industry or a factory. Similar to an industry/factory, kitchen also needs to be maintained. There are so many degradable items inside kitchen that they all need to be properly taken care of; otherwise might end up in mess with ants and cockroaches all around if kept more that their expiry time. Similar to as an industry input raw materials, kitchen also needs several raw material from turmeric powder, curd, oil, vegetables, sugar, rice, flour etc and the list goes on and on. These all items have to be properly arranged in their unique places (few things cannot be mixed or kept near other things as they get spoiled). At regular intervals, the quantity of these items need to be monitored and should be re-filled accordingly.

Another important material of kitchen are utensils. There are wide variety of utensils which serve various purpose during cooking. There are few essential utensils while others are luxury to own. Each utensil complements the other in the process of cooking. Time to time, these utensils have to be cleaned after usage else it may lead to untidiness inside the kitchen. Refrigerator has become the new entry and a must have item in every modern kitchen of contemporary world. It helps the cook in several ways by storing perishable food items and extending their lives for few more days.

A factory cannot be run by an individual as it is a complex entity similarly its very hard to cleanly maintain the kitchen by an individual. But still there are so called “housewives” who single handedly maintain the kitchen. Trust me, maintaining a clean kitchen is not an easy task. If you don’t believe me, take a challenge and own responsibility of maintaining the kitchen for 2 weeks to realize. It has its very own complexities and requires a different kind of skill and intelligence which housewives posses. We casually ignore the effort of mother, wife, daughter, sister or even hired cook who prepares food for us and serve it deliciously by hiding all the internal effort spent on preparing it. Its not just preparing, there is aftermath also in cleaning and maintaining it back. Don't get me started on Hygiene part.

While preparing for food in Kitchen, one needs to be equipped with lot of techniques on managing the available resource to its best use. For example, what can be replaced with what item when you fall short of an item, how many people food are you going to cook and how much hungry they might be, what to do if food is over estimated, how to handle when it is under estimated, how much time is it going to take to cook to ensure food is served hot etc etc. Such wisdom doesn’t solemnly appears to anyone. It needs lot of patience, effort, experience, failures, knowledge etc to gain tidings about kitchen entity.

Generally when you visit someone’s house, you see their hall where you sit and talk and if you are quite close to them, probably they might show you their living room, bedroom, balcony etc but its very rare that someone takes you to their kitchen also and show it unless you are very special or closed one or a family member. According to me, don’t be impressed on how well they maintain their living room or bed room but based on how clean and organized have they maintained their Kitchen. This is the place where things get real. If possible, peek into their refrigerator to understand them better.

At last, what I would like to say in conclusion is, maintaining and organizing kitchen is indeed a challenging task which may look quite simple from outside but its certainly not. When someone spends most of their life time in kitchen, don’t think they are useless or undexterous but infact they have immense experience of unique skill set which is quite forgotten and heavily underrated. So next time, when you meet any housewife, please remember they are multi talented people and honor them by recognizing their craft and competence. There are few working professionals who are exceptional in managing both office and kitchen, I salute them too. Going forward, I wish both genders are taught basics of handling kitchen in their childhood for betterment of hygiene and it enables them to master yet another unique skill set.